Graduated Learning: Life after College

I got my degree, I got a job…now what?

The childcare decision revisited March 9, 2018

When we had our first child, it was pretty obvious that we’d both keep working.  I took the full 12 weeks of maternity leave allowed through FMLA, then headed back to work.  As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I came back to work part-time, with a flexible schedule that allowed me to work however much I could each week as long as I worked a minimum number of hours.  This definitely helped with my transition back to work, especially when I was still breastfeeding/pumping, and even now when trying to juggle the life of a working mom along with sharing the daycare pickup/dropoff responsibilities with my husband (especially when he has a business trip and I have to do both dropoff and pickup!)

We found our daycare with help from my Employee Assistance Program, who helped narrow down choices to nearby options that had openings.  The daycare center is very conveniently located relative to both our jobs, and we’re really happy with the care and education she’s gotten so far.  And she’s happy, too!

Of course, the one thing we’re less happy about?  The cost.  Daycare is EXPENSIVE.  And I know this cost often weighs on people when making the decision:  should a parent stay home?

As I mentioned in my last post, we’re expecting again (due late May/early June) and so the discussion came up again.  Should one of us stay home?  Or should we keep paying for childcare, now for two kids?

I have plenty of friends who have chosen to be stay at home parents, for both financial and personal reasons.  They’re awesome people, and I think they made the right choice for their family.

But for us, for now, we will follow the theory that childcare is an investment.  A quick calculation shows that childcare for two at our current daycare is about 25% of our combined full-time salaries (gross pay).  Of course, after taxes and healthcare, and acknowledging that I’m only currently working around 75% of full time (so I only get paid around 75% of my salary) the percentage of take-home pay (net pay) creeps much higher.  And of course, this year, with me going on maternity leave (which is not all paid, and when paid, is not at 100% pay), and probably dropping my hours back down a bit to accommodate my pumping schedule, we will probably be spending quite a lot of our income on childcare.

But we both see good futures in our jobs, and know that leaving the workforce entirely, even for a few years, could have significant impacts on our careers.  Being away from our careers for an extended amount of time will make it harder to “get back in”, if we haven’t been in the industry for a few years.  And once the kids are in school, we’d want to be back at work, anyway.  And as this great article points out, there’s more than just the lost wages when leaving a job for a few years.  You miss out on 401k contributions (yours and your employer’s, and any of the growth from those contributions), some of your potential social security benefits, and all the raises you would have gotten.  And, with our other big expense (mortgage) it also makes more sense to have two salaries, even if one (mine) is less for a little while from maternity leave and reduced hours (as mentioned above).

On top of all the financial reasons, it’s also a personal reason.  If I’m being honest, I don’t think staying home with my kid(s) is the best choice for any of us (parents or kids).  I’ve seen how exhausted I can get from just a single day taking care of my daughter (on a day she’s sick, or daycare is closed, or my husband is gone for a weekend day for work) and I can’t imagine being able to do this every single day, especially now with an infant set to enter our lives in less than 3 months.  And my daughter benefits greatly from being among her peers, and learning every day from people who are actually trained educators.  She gets variety every day in fun (and educational) indoor and outdoor activities.  I don’t think I could offer that level of education and fun every single day!

Yes, my husband could be the one to stay home instead, as he somehow manages to survive the day better than me when he’s home alone with our daughter all day, but as mentioned above, we see other benefits to having our children attend daycare.

And of course, we could seek out a less expensive option.  Either a nanny or finding a cheaper daycare center.  But most centers around here are around the same price, but less convenient to get to which means it would still mean less time one of us could spend at work to take care of pickup/dropoff on time (which at least for me, means less pay, so that defeats the purpose of finding a slightly cheaper location).

I know everyone’s situation is different, and I wouldn’t dare judge people on whatever decision they made for childcare.  I just wanted to share how we came to the decision to continue with daycare.

I’d love to hear from you on your childcare/work situation, and how you came to that decision!

 

 

 

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My Breastfeeding Journey, A Follow Up July 9, 2017

Filed under: baby,Pregnancy — Stephanie @ 8:56 pm
Tags: , , , ,

(Disclosure:  I link to a product on here that is an Affiliate link. You can read more about my disclosure here)

It seems that all you have to do to get the weaning process really going is to blog about how you’re having trouble getting your toddler to wean.  After my last, VERY LONG blog post about my breastfeeding journey, we started trying a bit harder to get breastfeeding out of our daughter’s routine.  The biggest change was getting up with her when she got up (if it was a reasonable hour in the morning).  In the past, if she woke up and didn’t want to go back to sleep, but it was still slightly too early to get up, I’d just bring her into our bed and I’d nurse her to sleep (and I’d probably doze off a little bit, too).  But now, we started just getting up with her and heading downstairs to eat some “real” food.  Give her some breakfast and her sippy cup of milk.  The evenings were similar, in that we’d just make sure her cup was around, and that we were playing or keeping busy after dinner until bedtime.

We did have a few times where we slipped back into the old routine (a few weekend mornings when we were just NOT ready to get up, or an evening where she was incredibly upset).  But after June 18th she hasn’t nursed at all!  She did “ask” to nurse a few times the week after, when she was especially cranky and tired, but I distracted her away from it.  So she was fully weaned before 17 months.

It’s bittersweet (I loved the cuddling she and I did while she nursed) but she’s still giving some great hugs, and she’s really growing up (as much as a 17 month old is “grown up”).  Lots of personality, lots of babbling, a some recognizable words!

I also wanted to share some feedback/advice that I got from some friends after I posted my last blog post.  Some helpful hints and some insights from my friends (especially about pumping):

  • “Outsource” the cleaning of pump parts, i.e. have your spouse/partner take apart the pump parts and clean them for you.  It means one less thing you have to deal with on top of everything else!
  • Besides replacing the membranes on your pump (like I mentioned in my post), also keep an eye on your tubing as well, and trim it if it gets too worn.
  • Have extras of as many things as possible:  If you can, get a second pump that stays at work so you have one less thing you have to schlep back and forth.  Also, have more than one set of pump parts, so you can pre-pack your pump parts for the next day while the current set dries (I was almost able to fully do that, for some reason, I had almost 2 full sets but was missing one of the flanges).  This same friend also suggested having some Microwave Sterilizer Bags for a quick clean, especially at work.  And that you should make sure you get the flanges that fit properly, even if it means buying more to find the right fit.  Also, consider getting a hand pump as another pumping option.
  • A bunch of my friends were able to wean after a few days away from their child (after a business trip).  Taking yourself out of the baby’s life for a few days (if possible or necessary) is apparently enough to get them used to not needing to nurse, in some cases.
  • I had friends who did pretty much every variety of feeding their babies:  Exclusively breast feed, exclusively pump, exclusively formula feed, and a combination of any of these (supplement breast milk with formula, wean early and switch to formula).  Some stopped nursing early on, some breastfed even longer than I did!

So glad to get all this feedback and advice from my friends!  I encourage you all to comment on this or my previous post about your feeding experiences, and what advice or resources you’d like to share.

On to the next set of adventures with our little one!

 

 
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