Welcoming Baby Number Two! May 25, 2018

As I mentioned in some previous posts, we were expecting our second child at the end of May/beginning of June (estimated due date of June 3rd). Well, apparently our little boy had alternate plans, as my water broke very early in the morning during the 37th week of my pregnancy.  We had only partially packed our hospital bags when we had to rush to the hospital!

So now we’re a family of 4!

It’s definitely been tricky getting used to navigating the needs of our toddler daughter with our newborn son, while also making sure I’m taking the time to recover!

Luckily we’ve got some help: a really good friend of ours was able to come to the hospital to watch our daughter when I went into labor, then my mother-in-law came to watch our daughter during my recovery at the hospital. And now my parents are up to help out for a week. And my husband was able to save up a lot of PTO so he will still stay home with the baby and me for a month before he has to go back to work.

I’ll be taking the 12 weeks allowed for me from FMLA, with some portion of it paid.  Then I’ll be heading back to work, with both kids going to daycare.

I still plan on breastfeeding (and later pumping/breastfeeding) this baby like I did with his big sister, but we’ll see how it goes.

We didn’t bother with cloth diapers this time around. We tried it last time, it definitely cut down on our trash output, but was not a long term solution for us.  We’re currently using up the stash of newborn diapers that the hospital gave us, as well as the extras my sister gave us after her baby outgrew the newborn size.  Our toddler is still in diapers, so we are dealing with quite a lot of diapers these days!

I’m going to try to find balance in maternity leave.  There’s some things we need to take care of, but for the most part, especially early on, I need to focus on recovery and, of course, caring for and bonding with my new baby

I was going to write a blog post about how to help out new parents (and I still might) but for now I’d recommend the YouTube video from Bridget (from Money after Graduation).  Parents of new babies definitely appreciate the help! Just be prepared to show up to a messy home and offer up some help and/or food!

Back to resting up and nursing!

My Breastfeeding Journey, A Follow Up July 9, 2017

(Disclosure:  I link to a product on here that is an Affiliate link. You can read more about my disclosure here)

It seems that all you have to do to get the weaning process really going is to blog about how you’re having trouble getting your toddler to wean.  After my last, VERY LONG blog post about my breastfeeding journey, we started trying a bit harder to get breastfeeding out of our daughter’s routine.  The biggest change was getting up with her when she got up (if it was a reasonable hour in the morning).  In the past, if she woke up and didn’t want to go back to sleep, but it was still slightly too early to get up, I’d just bring her into our bed and I’d nurse her to sleep (and I’d probably doze off a little bit, too).  But now, we started just getting up with her and heading downstairs to eat some “real” food.  Give her some breakfast and her sippy cup of milk.  The evenings were similar, in that we’d just make sure her cup was around, and that we were playing or keeping busy after dinner until bedtime.

We did have a few times where we slipped back into the old routine (a few weekend mornings when we were just NOT ready to get up, or an evening where she was incredibly upset).  But after June 18th she hasn’t nursed at all!  She did “ask” to nurse a few times the week after, when she was especially cranky and tired, but I distracted her away from it.  So she was fully weaned before 17 months.

It’s bittersweet (I loved the cuddling she and I did while she nursed) but she’s still giving some great hugs, and she’s really growing up (as much as a 17 month old is “grown up”).  Lots of personality, lots of babbling, a some recognizable words!

I also wanted to share some feedback/advice that I got from some friends after I posted my last blog post.  Some helpful hints and some insights from my friends (especially about pumping):

• “Outsource” the cleaning of pump parts, i.e. have your spouse/partner take apart the pump parts and clean them for you.  It means one less thing you have to deal with on top of everything else!
• Besides replacing the membranes on your pump (like I mentioned in my post), also keep an eye on your tubing as well, and trim it if it gets too worn.
• Have extras of as many things as possible:  If you can, get a second pump that stays at work so you have one less thing you have to schlep back and forth.  Also, have more than one set of pump parts, so you can pre-pack your pump parts for the next day while the current set dries (I was almost able to fully do that, for some reason, I had almost 2 full sets but was missing one of the flanges).  This same friend also suggested having some Microwave Sterilizer Bags for a quick clean, especially at work.  And that you should make sure you get the flanges that fit properly, even if it means buying more to find the right fit.  Also, consider getting a hand pump as another pumping option.
• A bunch of my friends were able to wean after a few days away from their child (after a business trip).  Taking yourself out of the baby’s life for a few days (if possible or necessary) is apparently enough to get them used to not needing to nurse, in some cases.
• I had friends who did pretty much every variety of feeding their babies:  Exclusively breast feed, exclusively pump, exclusively formula feed, and a combination of any of these (supplement breast milk with formula, wean early and switch to formula).  Some stopped nursing early on, some breastfed even longer than I did!

So glad to get all this feedback and advice from my friends!  I encourage you all to comment on this or my previous post about your feeding experiences, and what advice or resources you’d like to share.

On to the next set of adventures with our little one!

My breastfeeding journey, so far June 3, 2017

I can’t believe it!  My daughter is 16 months old already!  Time really does fly!

I thought I might share my experience with breastfeeding.  If this is something you don’t care to read about, that’s fine.  Plenty of other posts to read!

Warning.  This is a long post.  My journey has been long, and I have lots of thoughts/ideas about how this has gone.

Also, disclosure:  I link to a few products that I found really helpful during my breastfeeding journey.  Some of them link to Amazon, and they are affiliate links.  You can read more about this on my Disclosures page.

Planning ahead

Going into the pregnancy, we had plenty of ideas about what we wanted to do for our daughter.  One of these was breastfeeding.  From most of what I’d heard/read/seen, breastfeeding was highly recommended for a lot of different reasons.  So I wanted to try!  My plan was:  try it and see how it goes.

Before she was born, I tried to learn a bit about how to breastfeed, and what advice was available.  I got connected to a Lactation Consultant through the Employee Assistance Program at work.  I also went to a class that was a free added extra from the childbirth class my husband and I went to (through our hospital).

The Early Days

That being said, I don’t know how much learning you can do ahead of time.  It wasn’t until my daughter was actually born and needed to be fed that I actually got any idea of how to do it.  It was a little tricky in the beginning, because she was born pretty small (5lbs 8 oz) so it was hard to get her to latch.  Luckily, my hospital had plenty of Lactation Consultants available pretty much all the time, and the nurses were also well-educated on all things breastfeeding as well.  They weren’t afraid to get right in and help.  And since I stayed at the hospital for 4 days due to my emergency c-section, my milk started coming in before I left, so the lactation consultants could show me more ways to nurse.  That’s also when they showed me how to use the nipple shield to help get the baby to latch even better.  I’ve definitely seen this recommended to a lot of new nursing moms by our local lactation consultants.  It was very helpful for me, until my daughter got a better hang of things (she stopped needing it after a week or so).  They also helped me get my breast pump by showing me what options were available through my insurance, and showed me how to use the breast pump, which would be very important later on.

I went to a bunch of Baby Cafes (local weekly meet ups with other new moms and lactation consultants), which was very helpful both early on getting the hang of nursing, getting advice, being able to weigh my daughter before and after nursing (to see that she was, in fact, getting milk), then later when I went back to work, to get additional advice about pumping.  (I’ve heard that La Leche League also has similar events like these).  Plus it was great to get me out of the house and interacting with other adults during my maternity leave.

Pretty much my entire maternity leave was lots of nursing.  She ate pretty much around the clock, and, especially early on, NEEDED to.  The pediatrician actually told us to make sure she didn’t go more than 3 hours even at night for the first few weeks to make sure that she got enough to eat.  As time went on, it was okay to let her go a little bit longer at night, but those very first few days, I basically had to set an alarm for a few hours into the future every night all night.  EXHAUSTING.

I also got over my shyness about nursing in front of people pretty quickly.  The first month or so, if I had people visiting, or I was out and about, I used a nursing cover or blanket.  But once I started worrying less about what other people thought, I started not bothering, as it was yet another thing to juggle when trying to get her to nurse.  I also like to think it helped that I did the “double shirt” technique to reduce exposed flesh:  I wore a tank top under a regular shirt, so that I could pull up the top shirt and pull down the tank top to provide nursing access.  Meant less of my chest and belly would be showing!

Back to work, the pumping routine

As I mentioned in my post about maternity leave, I found a few books to be extra helpful for transitioning back to work and getting the pumping thing figured out.  I highly recommend reading the book Work. Pump. Repeat. for figuring out the whole going back to work, pumping at work thing.  What you need to bring, how to navigate the potential awkwardness of dealing with bosses and coworkers when you have to go pump.  One tip I found very useful:  let your boss know ahead of time that you plan on pumping, and word it in the least boob-related way possible, i.e “I will be taking multiple breaks throughout the day so that I can provide food for my baby.”  I was very appreciative of my boss and coworkers being very understanding of what I was doing.  I also made sure to block of time in my work calendar so no one would try to schedule a meeting during my pumping sessions.

Ahead of going back to work, I did start pumping a bit, both to build up a freezer stash as well as to just have milk to get others to feed her with.  I did run into trouble with trying to get her to actually drink from a bottle.  I think I may have started too late with trying a bottle, and it actually was only a few days before I went back to work that she actually started taking the bottle.  I was so anxious that she wouldn’t be able to take a bottle at daycare!  The first time she actually took the bottle was when I sneaked it into her mouth while she was half asleep!  Then she started accepting the bottle while awake.  I had tried so many different bottle/nipple options (and tried leaving the room when my husband and others tried to feed her), and then it turned out that the very simple/cheap slow flow nipples sold by the company that made my pump/bottles worked for her.  This made things way easier, since I could pump directly into the bottles, and send in the matching nipple top.

Things that made my pumping easier (both the actual pumping and the hassles associated with transport/cleaning/etc):

A nice pump bag.  I know it’s not a necessity, but having a nice bag that doesn’t look too strange and can transport all your various equipment (the pump, tubing, flanges, bottles, bags, etc) made things a lot easier.  My first few weeks with just an old bookbag and a huge cooler just made me feel awkward and sad.  So my mother got me a breast pump bag (and wet-dry bag) from Sarah Wells for my first Mother’s Day!  There was a spot to put the pump, and an insulated area to store the pumped milk (with a few reusable cold packs), and plenty of pockets to store everything. And I used the wet-dry bag to store the flanges etc. between pumping sessions so that I didn’t have to wash them after every time.  (I’d read that as long as you wash them once a day, and just store the parts in the fridge between pumping, you should be okay!).  Plus Sarah Wells is often a sponsor at Kelly Mom (an amazing website and great parenting resource, especially for nursing moms), and when she’s a sponsor, she usually has a coupon code!  So we got it at a discount.

Cleaning supplies specifically for your pump stuff and bottles.  You’ll want to have an area at home (or, if necessary, at work) where you can wash and dry your items.  If you’re dealing with a preemie, or a baby that otherwise is more vulnerable to infection, you might also want to buy a sterilizer.  Or, if you’re like me, and a general germophobe, you might want one. I’ve heard some people say that soap and hot water is all you need (and they’re probably right), but I liked knowing things were “extra” clean.  So I washed in soap and water and then used a microwave sterilizer.  Then I dried everything on a drying rack separate from my regular drying.

As time went on, pumping changed for me. In the beginning, I was pumping way more than my daughter drank, but over time, my supply regulated, and she started taking bigger bottles at each feeding. At some point, my supply dropped even more, so I had to try pumping more often to make sure I had enough milk to send in, or try “nursing vacations” (nursing A LOT on the weekends).  This supply change started around 6 months in, which was also around the time we started introducing solids. (Another thing that helped me get my pumping output back up was to replace the membranes on the pump every month) We got into a basic routine during work days: nurse when she wakes up, then I pump while I eat breakfast. Pump once right before lunch at work, then once in the afternoon at work. At home, more nursing, then I pump once more right before I go to bed.  Weekends there was still a lot of nursing, even as she got more and more “real food”.

I kept up this basic pumping schedule for about a year (though I sometimes skipped the morning pumping session). Then at a year, we were able to introduce whole cows milk (which she luckily readily accepted with little coaxing). A little after that, she was transitioned from the infant room to the toddler room at daycare. Unfortunately, due to health regulations, the teachers were not able to give her as many bottles of breast milk as in the toddler room (they have to sit down with her to feed it to her, but there are more kids to watch in the toddler room, and they can’t risk other toddlers grabbing it). They only could really offer up the one bottle if it was right after nap time, when most of the kids are still asleep. So this change pretty quickly meant that I had to stop pumping so much.  I started dropping pumping sessions until it was just one mid-day.  So, just a few days before she turned 13 months, I stopped pumping all together.  I had been tracking my pumping output the whole time, and so at the end, I added it all up.  Over that time, I’d pumped over 18 gallons of breast milk!

How things are going now

My daughter still nurses.  At this point, I think it’s mostly for comfort.  She nurses every morning, and most evenings after work (though, if my husband is home and/or we’re able to distract her, we can get away with skipping the evening nursing).  And sometimes on weekends she’ll be very demanding and want to nurse throughout the day.  I’ve tried to wean her, but she is very persistent about nursing.  I think it helps if we’re out and about, or if other people are around.  Usually when she tries to nurse, I’ll try to offer her regular milk, or a snack, or try to distract her with a toy.  Sometimes it works.  I’ll admit, on days when I’m exhausted and/or she’s upset, it’s just easier to nurse her.  I’ve tried the “don’t offer, don’t refuse” advice for trying to wean, but so far, she’s still demanding it.  My guess is if I we can get her focused on other things often enough, we can get there.

Final Thoughts

I lucked out in a lot of ways when it comes to breastfeeding.  Hearing from others who dealt with mastitis, tongue/lip ties, lack of lactation consultants early on, low milk supply, a poor latch, etc makes me feel pretty lucky.  I also had a pretty supportive network of family and friends, who never made me feel like I was doing the wrong thing.

Being your child’s main (and sometimes only) source of food and comfort can be very stressful.  And it was a bit hard on my husband in the beginning, because she had such a strong preference towards me.  But as she got older, and became less dependent on me for food, she opened up to him more.  Now they have a great relationship!

Breastfeeding took a lot out of me, emotionally and physically.  In fact, the physical impact was quite profound.  I was basically ALWAYS HUNGRY, and would eat huge meals all the time.  Luckily (?) it meant I was able to lose all of my baby weight in less than 6 months, and then the weight still kept dropping (which was a bit scary at times).  Breastfeeding just burns A LOT of calories.   Now that I’m nursing less, I’m not as famished all the time, and my weight has come back up a little bit to a more normal weight.  But my pre-pregnancy clothes are still a bit loose on me.

The whole “breastfeeding is free” mentality annoyed me.  Because I was working a flexible schedule (so grateful for this option), it meant I was basically being paid hourly (rather than working full-time and getting a full salary).  So, pumping twice a day for about a half hour each session basically “cost” me an hour’s salary every day, since I wasn’t really able to put in much longer hours due to daycare schedules and my overall tiredness every day.  Still, I’m glad I was able to do it.

I didn’t think I’d still be breastfeeding at 16 months.  I figured I’d nurse until she was about a year old (based on recommendations from health organizations)  then we’d wean and that would be that.  But as I mentioned above, my daughter is still demanding nursing at times, and I’ve had a hard time refusing.  Hopefully as time goes on, she’ll realize she doesn’t need to nurse to be comforted, and can just snuggle with us.

Thanks for reading through this incredibly long post.  I think this post was more for me than you guys!  If you have any thoughts, questions, or advice, please let me know!

p.s. for a follow up post after I weaned, plus a few extra bits of advice, head over to this post!

Maternity Leave: Plans vs. Reality April 24, 2016

(Disclosure:  The links to books on this site are Amazon affiliate links.  You can read more about this on my Disclosures page)

I had big plans for my maternity leave.  I was going to read a ton of books!  I was going to use the bread maker every day!  I was going to binge watch Psych!

This wasn’t quite how things went.  My first days after giving birth were quite overwhelming.  I was either sleeping or nursing or eating.  Actually, that pretty much describes most of my maternity leave.  Oh and changing diapers.  Though I didn’t actually change any diapers until we got home from the hospital (husband or nurses did it while we were at the hospital) and I briefly got overwhelmed when I got home when just trying to change diapers.  But more on that in a post about diapers.

I tried to take advantage of “sleep when the baby sleeps” but at the very beginning, she only really fell asleep if you were holding her and then it was tough to put her in her bassinet after she fell asleep.  So, having family around to hold her while I got some sleep came in very handy.

I very much appreciated visits (and food) from family and friends.  Trying to make meals on top of everything else that needed to get done was just not feasible.  And it was nice to be able to socialize.   A few visitors also helped clean the house a bit, since at times trying to tend to dishes and other chores was also overwhelming.

As time went on and it was just me and the baby at home every day (husband was able to take a week off after we came home from the hospital, then my mom stayed with me for a week), the the routine of sleep, nurse, eat, also got a bit of laundry thrown in, and occasionally dishes (I could handle loading and unloading the dishwasher, but doing the big pots and pans was a bit much at times).  And I started making some simple dinners if the baby managed to fall asleep at the right time, or if I could wear her while working in the kitchen.

As for those big plans at the beginning:  I only fully read one book, and read part of three other books.  The book I fully read was recommended to me by a fellow new mom.  I’d recommend this book to other new moms planning to return to work and pump breast milk.  It was Work. Pump. Repeat.  It was very helpful to help me figure out how to get ready for pumping when I went back to work.  The other books I partially read included another book for working mothers, Working Mother Nursing Mother.  It came recommended to me by a few other folks.  I also found it helpful, but didn’t get to finish reading it before going back to work (I still have it and will probably catch bits of it when I can).  I also started reading Your Baby is Speaking to You, which had some fascinating insight on what exactly a baby is up to in those first few weeks.  It helped me understand a bit more the different movements and reactions the baby was having.  The other book I had started reading before the baby was born but I gave up on reading a week or so into maternity leave was The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.  I had put it on hold at the library months earlier but it finally became available a week before I had the baby.  I am in definite need of tidying in my house, but I don’t think I can get through this book any time soon.

I didn’t use the bread machine once.  My husband did use our rice maker to make overnight oatmeal, which was delicious, filling, and easy to do.

Instead of rewatching all of Psych on Netflix, I went ahead and rewatched all of Parks and Recreation.  Totally worth it.  The last few days of maternity leave, I did actually start watching Psych.  Most of my Netflix watching happened when nursing or if the baby was resting but I wasn’t able to fall asleep.

I did manage to get out of the house a decent amount.  In the beginning most trips out of the house were for doctor’s appointments, either mine or the baby’s.  We didn’t leave the house much.  But after the first month, I did try to make the effort to get outside.  I put the baby in the stroller and ran local errands (drug store, library, etc.) or otherwise just explored our neighborhood.  I also met some new moms at the local “Baby Cafe” events.  These are meetings hosted by lactation consultants and other trained professionals for nursing mothers.  It was helpful to get out of the house, meet other mothers and hear about their experiences and what worked/didn’t work for them.  Plus the professionals had plenty of advice and would answer any questions new moms might have.  I went to a few of the ones north of Boston affiliated with the hospital I delivered at, but if you live elsewhere you can find out about Baby Cafes (in the United States) here.  They were started in the UK, so there are quite a few there, but there are also some in a few other countries as well.

I went back to work this past Wednesday.  Unfortunately, my husband had to travel for work starting that same day, so I had to juggle daycare drop off and pickup, and then tend to everything at home.  But luckily I had prepped a huge amount of food before Wednesday so I could just reheat and eat when I had a moment to myself.  But very glad he’s back home!  And I am very grateful to my boss for allowing me to work more flexible hours in order to accommodate my schedule.  So I didn’t have to worry about how I was going to be able to do everything!

I’ll have plenty more to say about being back at work, having my child in daycare all day, and other observations about being a working mother, but for now, that’s a good starting recap for what my maternity leave was like.

How did your maternity leave plans compare to reality?

The pregnant scientist March 1, 2016

The convenient thing about this pregnancy was that I finally got a smartphone only a few weeks after finding out I was pregnant.  This meant when I was out at a restaurant and wanted to know if I could eat something or not (was it one of the “not while you’re pregnant” foods?) I could go ahead and google it really quickly.  Of course, googling other pregnancy related topics while pregnant can lead you down a rabbit hole of panic and worry.  DON’T DO IT.  Even though I did.  The few times my OB/GYN mentioned a minor concern, you bet I googled the topic until I was basically in tears with worry.  And then of course there was no actual issue after all.

This all being said:  searching online for answers during pregnancy can be both useful but also misleading if you’re not looking in the right places (Avoid pregnancy forums!  Stick to trusted sources!)

So, I got a pretty good idea of what foods I should stay away from.  I even read the book Expecting Better before getting pregnant, so I got a good idea of why certain foods were on the restricted list, and what foods were actually okay to eat.  Basically:  listeria is one of the top worries for foodborne illness, but it’s also the most difficult to reliably prevent 😦

Another (of many) upsides of reading Expecting Better was finding information about other potential hazardous exposures, like mercury (i.e. what fish I should eat and what fish I should avoid) and what medications and products were safe to use while pregnant (I found out about safefetus.com which I checked whenever I was prescribed something new or wanted to use something over the counter).  Of course, you can also ask your OB/GYN or Midwife if you have any questions about medication (or other concerns!)

But one other concern that came up for me was the safety of my baby while I worked in the lab.  I spend a good part of my time in a research lab, so I wanted to make sure I wasn’t exposing my baby to anything in utero.

I reached out to one of my twitter friends, @Chemjobber , who had in the past posted a link to a reddit page where people discussed the potential hazards of working in certain environments while pregnant.  I asked him if he knew of any good resources for figuring out what to avoid besides using MSDSs.  He in turn reached out to a colleague who wrote a post on additional advice for scientists who are or plan on becoming pregnant.  He also sent along a few other links to check out.

Now that we have our adorable baby and I’m breastfeeding, I’ve found yet another resource for what medicines and other products are okay while breastfeeding, LactMed.  Similar to safefetus, it reviews what medicines and other chemicals are safe or dangerous while breastfeeding.  (I also came across this list of other resources from Kelly Mom) Again, don’t be afraid to ask your OB/GYN, Midwife, or Pediatrician if you have a concern about what you can or can’t use while breastfeeding!

What were your go-to resources when you had questions about what you should/shouldn’t eat/do/be around while pregnant?